Accidents and Incidents

There was this girl who had 2 kids by the age of 17 and everyone on the block called a hoe
But I know, she was cool
She was tall and brown, but no one liked the color of her skin
I thought it was nice I even told her it look right
She was one of those girls that was too embarrassed of her past to speak of it
Whenever I told her she looked beautiful she would ignore me and keep going
I brought her flowers to school with a note on the card that said “just own up to it”
I watched her smell them and toss them
I can’t lie, my heart bursted
And she can’t deny the man she’s after is no go good for her
He ditches class and stays in the halls to slangs narcotics
He’s the schools trending topic
But would you think it’s ironic for him to have grown up in the same ghetto building as me?
Same life threatening, life risking streets as me?
Same background as me?
So believe me when I tell you, he’s my brother
My brother from another mother
We are both adopted
Whenever I buy her nice things, she tells me she wants me
When my brother disses her in front of the school, she still loves him, but tells me we’re just cool
I have no respect for my brother, but I still love him
Even though he is not from my bloodstream, we never walk out on each other and just leave.
I remember when I told him to tell her to be my date for prom
She said no, but when I asked her myself she said “yeah I’ll go”
When the day of the prom came about
she was nowhere to be found, except on the right side of my brother’s arm
The beautiful dress I bought to match my suit, was on someone else
My brother had my suit on, and she had on the dress I bought for her
She stole both outfits to make him happy
I wore my foster dad suit that was too big
It was heavy on my body
When I walked into prom everyone laughed at me
My brother stared at me
And she just walked away from my sight
For me to be so polite, I don’t understand why she doesn’t treat me right.
I couldn’t even enjoy my night, so I went home and called it an early night
But sadly as I was leaving, I called my rented limo and they said they couldn’t come
They had a group of couples to pick up
When they pulled up, my brother and her as well as others too, rushed out and trampled over me
Broke my glasses, and dirtied up my father’s suit
By the time I got up she was waving and blowing kisses to me behind the window
Then the glass got low, she told me prom was over it’s time to go
I walked towards the window and her phone rang
She yelled “no way’ the night is still young, give me a few more hours” and hung up
My brother looked at her with his nose up Like he was stuck up
He said “what’s going on” I couldn’t hear what she said
He was cuddled up with another girl inside the limo
Then she turned towards me and she said
“come with us to an after party”
Right then, I felt that love I had for her again
I hopped in, she moved and she sat next to my brother
I said “there’s room, no need to move”
She scowled my brother and said “I ain’t here for nothing so choose”
He was kissing all over the another girl gripping her hair, feeling her breast
I offered a seat next to me and she still rejected me.
The limo took off and we pulled up infront of a boring house
She told me to go in and grab her wallet
I opened the door and there was 2 kids with sticky hands and dirty shirts running around in her place
Then an older lady with a fresh cigarette came out and said “they’ve already ate”
She left before I could even take a breath
I walked outside, I seen no limo
I called my brother, but I forgot her turned his phone off for the day.
She never gave me her number so I couldn’t call her
I was angry and I was pissed
I walked out the house and closed the door behind me
When I reached the gate at the bottom of the stairs
I turned around and stared at the door
I can’t do this anymore, but I can’t leave those kids alone.
I had so many things on my mind, but first I need to figure out what the hell is going on
I walk back inside, a child looked at me and spoke
“Where’s mommy?”
I thought to myself “hell no”
They have me babysitting, nothing came to me until I replayed the evidence
What do I do? Should I leave or just get rid of them?
3 hours of thinking goes past, the kids played themselves to sleep
But I heard some keys
It twisted, unlocked, and it cracked open
But no one came through, I was sitting on the edge of the couch with my shiney 70’s suit
It was her! She fell through the door, and it opened widely
She laid on the floor and she rose up and threw up
I picked her up took her to the bathroom, stuck my finger down her throat, she threw up again
Then I took her to a room, I didn’t know who it belonged to
I laid her on the bed and she said “i’m sorry I am cruel to you, I just love you so much I don’t know what to do”
She leaned up and kissed me
I wrapped my hands around her warm sweaty body
And kissed her some more
I have never felt like this before
I felt loved and I felt like I was ready do more
She took off her dress and laid naked in front of me
I looked at her body and she said
“come on I know want me” I took off my suit
And laid next to her
she stared at my body and said “you’re small, but it’s okay” and told me to touch her
She said “nevermind” and got on top of me
I stared at the ceiling trying not to look at her boobies
But I couldn’t help it, because they were right in front of me
The bed rocked back and forth, all seen was her hair floating all over like a tornado.
I said “stop” she said “why I love you, don’t you love me?”
I said “yes, but all you do is hurt me”
She got up started kissing me saying I love you
But all could do was take it, because I wanted her
She said “wait I want to show you something” she got up put a robe on and told me come with her naked
I she stepped out the room and a huge light came on and it was a house full of people
They laughed even harder, and pointed even further
I ran in the room grabbed my clothes, and tried running out the house
There were camera lights flashing and she and her friends were still laughing
I pushed everyone and ran crying, crying like a baby
I stopped at a corner but on my clothes but I realized I forgot the jacket and my shirt but I didn’t care so I ran home
When I got there, my brother opened the door and started laughing
He said “you finally got you some” he had a camera and was recording my angry wet face
I smacked it out his hand and he laughed again
The next day at school there were photos all over the lockers with my private parts on them
I seen her in the hallway I grabbed her by her arm
And asked “did you not mean anything you said to me last night?”
Everyone in the halls were laughing consistently
The she responded “who are you? What’s your name again?”
My brother walked passed with another girl on his arm and he totally ignored me
By lunch time everything was cool, but my brother stood on a lunch table and yelled “MY BABY BROTHER, FINALLY TRIED SOME COOCHIE!”
Everyone laughed again and she stood up with him
I said “I did it with you” she laughed even harder with the rest of the school
She said “the only person she’d do it with is with your brother, not you dude”
Then he said “girl no, I don’t have time to waste on you, now get off my table”
The crowd got silent, for everyone thought she and my brother were dating.
Just when I thought I had a break my brother yelled out “SHRIMPY!” the crowd went wild again
I left the cafeteria and ran home
When I got home I grabbed a knife and went into the bathroom I took a deep breath and put it to my neck, stood there and stared
My foster mom came in and burst open the bathroom door
She scared me so bad, I slit my throat
She screamed and screamed
as I fell to the floor
I Was thinking to myself
“It was an accident, I wasn’t really going to do it.”
I tried gasping for air but I couldn’t
The screams pierced my ears and distracted my concentration of breathing
I was bleeding
My mom lifted my head and put me on her lap “I “Help is coming! You’re okay, you’re okay”
Her voice traveled through my head even after I blacked out
“I’m okay, I’m okay”

©Kiah-kay Holman, 2016


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