PT.3: Call me crazy but…

Here I am in the crazy house
I’m here because
I am a disaster
I am only a disaster
Because I am afraid of myself
I am scared of what I am
Of what I have become
There was this question in my head
“why”
But it grew legs and walked away
When I discovered
This thing called “believe”
That was my help
Believing in myself cured my disorderly pain
Now, I’m okay
and I never killed god, for he can never die
He only forgives, and he has forgiven me
For his injuries
And he wrote and said he still loves me
I was so Ill, that it was not real…
He never had a new girlfriend
It was my imagination
An imagination that went too far
Infact, none of that happened, no one called me names, no one tripped me
But I actually almost killed him over nothing
my apologies, my love
We were at school in the halls
And as everything was playing out in my head
It was really happening
It’s kind of like a bad dream
You dream you’re falling off a cliff
Then you actually fall, and it hits you in real life
And it never really happened
but in real life it did
Although I’m in the nut house
they are not my help …I am
I built a special relationship with myself in my heart.
The both of me get along quite well
I’m cured, I’m okay… call me crazy, but believe it or not, I was all the help I ever needed.
I needed to go deep and find it.
©Kiah-kay Holman, 2015

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