A mother to forgive and thank

Please stop crying little baby
Oh, no i’m sorry. I know it is very impolite of me
For i am the one crying too.
I am a hypocrite.
I’m sorry you are hungry and dirty but I have no money
I’m sorry I am the only one out of the two who loves you
I’m sorry, I am failing as a mother
He left me after you were born
He said get an abortion
But I couldn’t kill anyone
He said give it away to someone who wants it
But I couldn’t because I wanted you.
I’m still in school, I’ve applied at many jobs but none called back.
I cannot maintain anything
Maybe mommy was right
Babies aren’t for babies
Neither is independence
You are not a mistake but I made one
Maybe I should give you away
But I can’t and I won’t because I have to stay strong
If I don’t succeed in life, I know you will
And I want to be around to see it
Because when you succeed, I succeeded as a mother
We don’t need him, her or them
It’s just us and we are going to be alright
My hope lives in you, you’re the one who holds
My pain, my glory and my mind
If I am not happy, you will always be.
And I will make sure of it even if it take
Every breath in me.
I cannot bypass, or skip the struggle
Because I know later on down the road
There will be something helpful
Something to be thankful about
Something marvelous
Even someone to go on with
Those who choose to succeed before a struggle, end up suffering and will not earn their success back.
So I just have to keep going forward and keep faith because I refuse to be sad a sad mother.

Copyright© Kiah-kay Holman, 2015


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